I'M SUCH A LOOSER

How can I start ?

I wish i could tell u this but I just can't .

Maybe u (and them) think that i'm the kind of girl that doesn't care about what people say about her , But i'm not ,I do care about what people will think of me in 10 years , TRUE now I don't give a SHIT about what they say.

I lied when I said that I don't like anymore people like you, but i had to , first to protect you from me and second to take a step away from TRLW.

I just don't accept what I am or just i'm afraid of them. And there is an end for everything. I know i'll still have DESIRE for them but i'll consider it as a sin.

I'll get over it one day or another I know I will

PS: FUCK YOU FOR GIVING ME BACK MY NECKLACE

TOO AFRAID TO LOOSE

Welcome to the real world 
Since I was 4 I used to live in a bubble where I rule the rules and where dreams where my reality . But I think that is time to move on . I'm just gonna go out from this bubble that took me away from thé réal World
Its Time to leave my dreams and focus on what's happening in my life. 
Being an actress was my goal for so many years,but after going to this place I really opened my eyes and saw many people with more faith and talent than me. Even if it hurts me to say this but I know I won't make it. 
How many people has this goal ? Thousands and thousands from all over the world. Maybe one of them or many of them will make it so I guess I'll just have to sit and watch them living what for many years was what I used to call my dream. But the thing is that it wasn't just that but also my reason to live. I'll have to find a new reason I know it won't be easy but ill see what is waiting for me in this miserable world 
I won't think anymore about cameras ,emotions , oscars ,fame . . . And all those things that comes with even Angelina Jolie.
Now I see that I don't have any purpose in life. I will live day by day without joy in my life and I'll have to wear a mask and show them that's everything is going great and I'm still happy with a big smile in my face even though I'm fucking broke inside of me.

We all have to wake up one day and I think that now is my time 
Welcome to The Real World Marjana Ines Bouazza !

WHAT's THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ME , YOU , HIM OR HER ?

WE ALL DREAM

WE ALL LIE

WE ALL LAUGH

WE ALL CRY

WE ALL LOVE

WE ALL HAVE REGRETS

WE ALL DO WHAT THE OTHERS DO IN A DIFFERENT WAY

WE ALL ARE FUCKING HUMANS !!!!

THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE EVEN IF WE LOOK DIFFERENT

I'M LOST IN ALL KIND OF WAYS , not even kidding .

MOROCCO in one or 2 sentences

after LA , i stayed one week in PT i went out VODKA BBB bla bla . then morocco. the north 2 days jet ski boat dolphins the sea bla bla. THEN rabat and casablanca and desert and tadam RAMADAN .

Summer 2010 - LOS ANGELES

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Summer 2010 - Lisboa

The end of school , some of my friends of Morocco came to see me. Yassine came first we had so much fun, one day we went to this park we bought Starbucks and while we were sitting on the grass and a dog came and Yass was scared so he gave it his Frappuccino.
When Kenza came was even more fun , we were the 3 crazy. We used to go the Chiado and there is always weird people. Like the witch , Lady D . . .
One of those nights we went to this place called Barrio Alto , both of them were scared because like its weird ,and there we went to a bar . . . after this we went to this GAY CLUB , many of the guys Were hot but Gay. The music was nice and stuff we danced so much. And Yassine was DRUNK as hell.
They were with me for my birthday party.
All the days i've been with them were funny and amazing , we escaped from home several times. And one of this days it was his last day so we escaped from home, we went to a bar then a disco and then another. In this last one we were late to come home , cuz his flight was at 7. so we went directly from the disco to the house (like this he can take his suit case ) and to the airport with the night's dresses. He lost his first flight and after he went me and kenza had to go the dentist. we didn't sleep this night.After this i had to go to LOS ANGELES.
I REALLY CAN SAY THAT I MISS THEM SO MUCH
CRAZY DAYS

WHO AM I ? 75 answers

1. Why not me? Because this is life
2. Am I nice? Yes ,I am
3. Am I doing what I really want to do? No
4. What am I grateful for? Eerything
5. What’s missing in my life? Nothing
6. Am I honest? Yes , but i can lie sometimes
7. Do I listen to others? Yes
8. Do I work hard? I'm a lazy person
9. Do I help others? Yes
10. What do I need to change about myself? being less shy
11. Have I hurt others? Maybe
12. Do I complain? sometimes
13. What’s next for me? We will see
14. Do I have fun? yes
15. Have I seized opportunities?some yes some no
16. Do I care about others? yes
17. Do I spend enough time with my family? it depends
18. Am I open-minded? yes
19. Have I seen enough of the world? nothing is enough
20. Do I judge others? sometimes
21. Do I take risks? sometimes
22. What is my purpose?become An Actress
23. What is my biggest fear? loosing someone
24. How can I conquer that fear? not thinking about it
25. Do I thank people enough? nothing is enough
26. Am I successful? it depend where
27. What am I ashamed of? of nothing
28. Do I annoy others?maybe
29. What are my dreams? Become an actress
30. Am I positive? sometimes
31. Am I negative? in love
32. Is there an afterlife? mmmmmmm
33. Does everything happen for a reason? yesss
34. What can I do to change the world? Nothing
35. What is the most foolish thing I’ve ever done? fall in love
36. Am I cheap?nop
37. Am I greedy ? thanks god no
38. Who do I love? everybody
39. Who do I want to meet? I want to meet Angelina jolie
40. Where do I want to go? To Australia
41. What am I most proud of? Of my MUM
42. Do I care what others think about me? nop ,
43. What are my talents? I dont know i have to found them
44. Do I utilize those talents? i dnt know
45. What makes me happy? Happy people
46. What makes me sad? sad people
47. What makes me angry? racism
48. Am I satisfied with my appearance? nop
49. Am I healthy? yes ( i think so)
50. What was the toughest time in my life? . . .
51. What was the easiest time in my life? when i was a child
52. Am I selfish? in love
53. What was the craziest thing I did? i always do crazy thing
54. What is the craziest thing I want to do? bungee jumping
55. Do I procrastinate?no
56. What is my greatest regret? not doing thing that i wanted to do
57. What has had the greatest impact on my life? living in a different country
58. Who has had the greatest impact on my life? my mum
59. Do I stand up for myself? yes
60. Have I settled for mediocrity?nop
61. Do I hold grudges? yes
62. Do I read enough?nop
63. Do I listen to my heart? sometimes
64. Do I donate enough to the less fortunate? nothing is enough
65. Do I pray only when I want something? haha yes
66. Do I constantly dwell on the past? . . .
67. Do I let other people’s negativity affect me? nop
68. Do I forgive myself? yes
69. When I help someone do I think “What’s in it for me”?nop
70. Am I aware that someone always has it worse than me?nop
71. Do I smile more than I frown?yes
72. Do I surround myself with good people? yes
73. Do I take time out for myself? yes
74. Do I ask enough questions? too much
75. What other questions do I have? who am i really ? whats coming next ? . . .